And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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