Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
