Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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