Buhtt sex?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
