I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
