you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
