Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
