oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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