Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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