sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
