But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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