A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize