Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the condom got lost in my hair
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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