I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
