Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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They have beer where we have blood.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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