Whod you bang
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
