me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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