She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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