How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
