Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
