You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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