Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
