oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
