whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
