so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Text me some of your sweat
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
