...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
