I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
