i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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