I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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