I faked an abortion last night.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
