That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
