I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize