You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize