Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
