if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
