We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?