kristin has been a bad kristin
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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