you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
