all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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