I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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