DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
