There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
