i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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