Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
