Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
