It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
