i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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