haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
