ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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