physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
