Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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