Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
