you would pick up someone in the library
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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