She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
