i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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