the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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