terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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