dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I understand Curling. That high.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I need moral support for this bender
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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