there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
