I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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