What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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