He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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