I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
