Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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